


I Can Love You Better

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Songfic, au where Morgana does things slightly differently, morgana and merlin wait for arthur to be reborn, morgana doesn't have a part in arthur's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 00:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12852897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Morgana reflects on her relationship with Arthur, his with Gwen, and everything that went wrong. Sorry, I such at summaries. Better than it sounds.





	I Can Love You Better

_She's got you wrapped up in her satin and lace_

He had made her queen. A serving girl- her serving girl. Morgana should have been queen. She should have been the one being crowned. She should be the one who married Arthur.

_Tied around her little finger_

_She's got you thinking you can never escape_

Morgana didn't know how Gwen had trapped Arthur. The girl had always been terrified of magic (one of the reasons Morgana hadn't told her about her own when she discovered her magic), so a charm was out of the question. Morgana had a hard time believing that Arthur would have given up the advantages to Camelot which a political marriage would have brought- at least not for a serving girl such as Gwen. And yet he had married her soon after he became king.

_Don't you know your heart's in danger_

_There's a devil in that angel face_

_If you could only see the love that you're wasting_

She had loved Gwen once. Thought of her as a sister, a best friend, not just a servant. None of that love was left now, not after the girl had stolen Arthur forever. She had known that Morgana loved Arthur, and yet she had betrayed her and her trust. The sorceress still loved the golden-haired king, but the hatred she bore for his queen was vast as the sky and as fierce and blazing as the lightning that split the sky and sent thunder rolling off the mountains.

_I can love you better than that_

_I know how to make you forget her_

_All I'm asking is for one little chance_

_'Cause baby, I can love you baby, I can love you better_

Morgana had tried to stop his slow falling for Gwen as soon as she saw it beginning. She had come to him more often, dining in his chambers, advising or listening to his duties as First Knight, sometimes even helping with his armor. They met to talk almost every night, simply chatting and laughing together as they had not done since they were children. For a time it seemed as if it was working, but then Morgause took her away and when she returned Gwen and Arthur had grown closer than ever.

_I'm gonna break the spell she's got on you_

_You're gonna wake up to find_

_I'm your desire my intentions are true_

Morgana had considered trying to slip a love potion to Arthur. She had even tried once, but it hadn't worked, he had kept on loving Gwen. She had tried to gain his good will, doing her best to atone for what she had done to Camelot. She had joined the Druids briefly, then traveled around Camelot, sending rain to fall on villages suffering from drought, chasing away magical beasts that were causing trouble, defeating bandits even. It wasn't enough. She had betrayed him. It would never be enough.

_Hey babe, I know in time_

_You're gonna see what you mean to me_

_So open up your eyes 'cause seeing is believing_

He didn't know either. Perhaps he suspected that the magical aid his kingdom had received of late had something to do with her, but there was no way for him to know that it was Morgana's work. She hoped that one day he would. That one day he would know that she did it for him, for the love he had for Camelot. Then maybe he would know how much she loved him.

_I can love you better than that_

_I know how to make you forget her_

_All I'm asking is for one little chance_

_'Cause baby, I can love you baby, I can love you better_

After she had returned to find Arthur and Gwen close she had felt so alone. She had really only had three real friends before: Arthur, Gwen, and Merlin. Now it seemed that all of them had forsaken her. Gwen was distant, guilty perhaps that she had betrayed Morgana's trust in courting Arthur.

The prince himself was preoccupied with his duties, increased by her disappearance, and the time he had once made for her was now taken up by Morgana's maid. Merlin- well Merlin had tried to kill her. He had poisoned her when she had trusted him implicitly. He had stood by and watched as the hemlock cut off her breath and pulled her closer towards death. Morgause was the only one she could trust, the only one who cared about her and put her needs before all else.

_Yeah I can love you better than that_

_I know how to make you forget her_

_All I'm asking is for one little chance_

_'Cause baby, I can love you, baby I can love you better_

Finally, when the two had begun to court secretly and in earnest, the dreams began. Every night she saw Gwen kneeling before Arthur as he place the crown upon her head. The healing bracelet did nothing to stop these dreams, and she began going to Gaius for sleeping potions at night, carefully watching the mixture to make sure there was no poison in it (she could no longer trust Merlin, and Gaius by extension). Still, she woke up screaming nearly every night, and Gwen was no longer there to comfort her; besides, Gwen was probably the last person capable of calming her down after her nightmares.

_I can love you better then that_

_I know how to make you forget her_

_All I'm asking is for one little chance_

_'Cause baby, I can love you baby I can love you better_

So she and Morgause devised a plan. She ensured that Uther found them together, then planted the seed of suspicion in Uther's paranoid mind. The old king was only too happy to accept Gwen as a witch. Still, Morgana had expected banishment at most, or at least some way to keep the two apart.

She hadn't meant for Gwen to be condemned to death for a crime she hadn't committed. Morgana had been about to confess to Uther and discredit her accusations when the old sorcerer had been found putting a second love spell under Arthur's pillow. She had dared to hope that once the sorcerer was gone Arthur might renounce his love of the serving girl as an enchantment, of course she was disappointed.

_Yeah I can love you better than that_

_I know how to make you forget her_

_All I'm asking is for one little chance_

_'Cause baby, I can love you, baby I can love you_

Morgana didn't know when things had gone so wrong. She didn't know when she had passed the point that Arthur would rather kill her than look at her. She knew she would take it all back to reverse what she had done. She knew she loved him. But it was their destiny to be each other's death's, each other's downfall. She was a Seer, and she knew better than anyone that some destinies cannot be altered, and Fate has a cruel sense of humor. You had only to look at her and Arthur's story to see that.

_I can love you better than that_

_I can love you better I_

_can love you better than that_

_Baby I can love you_

_Baby I can love you better_

In the end she was not alone. Merlin found Morgana years later, after Mordred and Arthur had both fallen, after Merlin had sent Arthur to wait in Avalon till it was his time once again. They were not friends, they couldn't be, their past was too twisted and dark, too full of broken promises and shattered friendships for them to be friends again. But they couldn't be alone. Both were bruised and bloodied, too tired to fight anymore, too full of grief to be alone. Besides, their futures had been twisted and twined together since before either of them had been born, connected and complicated as their past. So they clung to each other. They leaned on each other, waiting for the time of the Once and Future King to come again. Waiting for Arthur.


End file.
